It’s been over a month now since we closed on our house. My mind has been so overwhelmed with all the changes that are going on that I am just now back to a headspace from which I can pull coherent thoughts out.

I did write a little snippet just before we closed on the house that I am going to share below, which might give a little insight into just how I felt about it. I am glad I’m on the other side of it all now because it feels so right. I guess I just didn’t realize how much it all would take out of me.

"January 5th, 2020…

We close on our house in 5 days.

I’m still not sure if we’re really prepared for what that means on an emotional level. I think it is all the hardest on Connor. It makes me sad to know that he already misses the house, even though he is excited about the bus. I know how I would feel, leaving my home at 15. At that age, you don’t realize that you take the memories with you.

Shit. it is hard at 39 to leave the physical behind. I mean, I raised my kids there, we had so many good times there. it is the only home we really knew as a family. it hurts to leave it behind. I am crying as I type this because it is so final. Some days it is hard to think about someone else living there, raising their family there, looking out the window to the backyard seeing what I love. Even though I have grown to dislike this town, and this neighborhood newly full of people, I will still miss our home and everything it was to us…”