Permission...don't let YOU hold you back.

One thing I have learned through the last couple of years, is that my biggest problem is me. Yep, I am my own worst enemy. That sounds so ridiculous, but it is so true.

My voice is the one in my head telling myself that I can’t do something, or that it wasn’t perfect and who the hell is going to pay money for something that isn’t perfect. I mean, I do every time I buy something at Target and it falls apart after 4 washes, but seriously. If I bought something that was handmade I would probably expect at least a couple of flaws that would show me it was handmade, and not the manufactured garbage now known as “fast fashion”. Which is a term I love, even though I have no patience to make my own clothes…which I could probably do if I just took a couple of classes, or watched a few well done tutorials on YouTube. I am a serial thrifter. The only things I buy new are undergarments (because eww.) and jeans, because it is hard to find a good fitting pair of jeans at a thrift store. So many people don’t understand the whole concept of NOT putting their jeans in the dryer.

Practice makes perfect they say. Who the hell is they, and what exactly is perfection? Instead, I say practice makes practically perfect. I mean, if it was good enough for Mary Poppins, it should be good enough for me.

Case in point. The apron in the photo. I was so close to being done, when my sewing machine did what only my sewing machine could do. Well, I am sure that other people’s machines do it too, but at the moment it was just mine. Ugh. I ended up needing to take out all the stitches that make the pocket, well, a pocket. Unfortunately for me, I didn’t realize that when I poked myself with the seam ripper, I also started bleeding. On the pocket. If I had been making it for myself, it really wouldn’t have mattered. My aprons are all stained, because I use them. A little spot of blood would just have been like a badge of hard work.

This apron on the other hand was being made for someone. As in, it had been paid for by someone else and was being given to someone else. It meant that I had to go to JoAnn and pick up some new fabric, because I didn’t have enough left to make an entire new pocket. While it shouldn’t have been that big of a deal, it was just enough after a day of crap that I needed to take a mental health break. It was either nap or cry. I bet if you ask Andy, he’ll tell you I did both.

Sometimes taking a step back and breathing, or doing yoga, or napping for fuck’s sake, is the only way to regain perspective. Well, that and posting about it on Instagram to get it off your chest. It is almost like telling people who don’t know you all about your failure, makes it less of a failure…It also allows you the ability to see that it really isn’t as bad as you’ve allowed yourself to believe it is. There it is again, that whole being your own enemy thing. When you can take that step, whatever it is for you, and allow yourself to see that other people fail sometimes too…and that a setback isn’t really a failure, but rather a learning moment, everything seems a little brighter.

I guess what I am really trying to say within all of this is that you need to stop worrying about the little things, and realize that you have to give yourself permission. Permission to try, permission to fail, and permission to get back up and keep going no matter how big of a deal your mind makes the small stuff out to be.

If you have trouble giving yourself that permission, I’ll do it for you. Here it is…

PERMISSION.