Some days are easier than others...

Some days are easier than others.

I think everyone realizes that, but I don’t think everyone understands what that means.

Some days I wake up ready to go, with a list of crap to get done in my mind, and I manage to get most of it done.

Some days I wake up and all I want to do is curl back up in bed and close the world out for the rest of the day.

Some days I wake up and pretend I give a fuck when all I want to do is lay on the couch and cry.

All of the days, I wake up completely intending to do all of the things…most of the time failing miserably.

All of the days, I wake up and praise the gods that I don’t have to be doing any peopling, because there is nothing worse than having to be “ON” for people you don’t know, don’t want to know, and have no desire to be around, when all you want to do is go back to bed.

*Side note…during one of my not so bad days, I watched Cathy Hay’s Costume College 2019 video and she mentioned how she does “strategic peopling” which is a concept I absolutely love. I highly recommend it when you have the option.

I guess what I am getting at with all of this is that every day is different. Some days are harder than others, some days are easier. All of the days are a part of me, and all of the days are good for…something. Even if it is just the realization that even the bad days are important. Without the bad days, it would be hard to appreciate the good days.

The days when it is sunny and beautiful and I can go outside without the threat of losing my toes if I forget to wear my wool socks. The days when I am meeting a friend for lunch, or have enough extra money to hit the lapidary store for another chunk of Amythest. You know, because I gave my last one away to someone who needed it more than I did. I tend to do that a lot. I’m a bit of a giver.

Even on my worst days, or maybe especially on my worst days, I think about the different ways we will be able to help people once we are on the bus. I think about all the people who are homeless after natural disasters, with little money to rebuild and no place to stay while they do, and I think about how we will have our own resources and place to sleep and power for tools. I think about being able to help people by simply listening, or saying words of protection or love for them, or giving them charged crystals to fill them with peace, and give them a way to turn their darkness into light.

I think about these things because they give me hope.

They are the light in the dark winter days for me.

They are what prevent me from curling back into my blankets.

They are what drive me to my yoga mat when I’ve been avoiding myself.

They are why I try so hard to not fall apart when it seems everything around me is.

They are the reason I keep pushing through all the crappy days.

I am not the only one with bad days.

I am not the only one that struggles.

I am one of the lucky ones though.

I am one of the ones who have people fighting right alongside them, who have friends who will go out of their way to help and have family who gets it.

I am definitely one of the lucky ones.

If you are one of the ones who doesn’t have people fighting right alongside you, who doesn’t have friends willing to go out of their way to help, who doesn’t have family who gets it, I want you to know that you do now.

I am willing to go out of my way.

I will fight with you.

I get it.

If you need me, I am here, and I am willing to ease your heart if I can.

I have enough love to share.

Don’t be afraid to reach out.

Don’t worry about being judged. I mean, I will judge the hell out of you for driving slowly in the left lane, but I will never judge you for asking for help.

I am here.